Are You Happy?
by dsf42
Summary: Because no matter how happy she truly was, Haibara Ai will never let Edogawa Conan one her up. Seriously.


**I planned this fic to be Angst-filled.. But with how bipolar I've been this past week and a half, it started out sad, but ended on a pretty happy note.. ****Ugh, I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. And I haven't updated in a while too. And I don't even have any excuses to present. Ahh, life.**

**Anyway, on to the story!**

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Never will be. Besides, Gosho-sama's ideas for cases really astound me, and I'm pretty content with where it's going. :)**

* * *

"Are you happy?"

She scowled before her face straightened out into her usual mask of sarcasm as she faced him, her hands stopping their movement on the keyboard, "_So_ very happy, Kudo-kun."

He hummed, closing his eyes and ignoring her jab; they settled into their usual companionable silence, the tapping of the keyboard and their deep, even breathing the only sounds breaking the silence.

"What brought this on?"

He opened his eyes, greeted by the glaring fluorescent lights in what Haibara Ai liked to call her lab, "Just wondering.." He said, turning on his side from his position on the sofa, watching her watch him with her usual unbreakable mask, "You seem to be laughing a lot lately."

She raised a delicate eyebrow at him, "And is that a bad thing?" She taunted, turning back to continue what she had been doing, "I found a new catalyst that can probably help with the antidote.. But I'm not sure if it would counter the APTX's ability to self-destruct your cells fast enough.."

He hummed once more, "It's not a bad thing.. In fact, it's pretty good, considering what you probably went through during your first childhood." He muttered, turning his back on her as he curled in on himself, tucking his knees to his chest, and ignored what Ai said about a chance at a new antidote.

"Since you've been developing an immunity to the prototypes I've been giving you, I decided to change a few compounds in the antidote. Maybe if I tried increasing your leukocyte count, it would help the catalyst speed your growth more..?" She trailed off uncertainly, ignoring his soft prying of her past. She stood up, heading to another table where a microscope stood with Conan's new batch of blood samples, "Or maybe if I just increase the dosage of the past prototype and add in the catalyst, it would probably counter and eliminate the actual APTX component..." She trailed off once more, silent mumbles of ideas spouting off her mouth as she looked at Conan's blood.

An hour passed as the same melancholy atmosphere covered them, Conan lost in thought and Ai neck deep in ideas all of which she turned down.

"Are you happy?" He asked again.

She sighed, saving her progress and stacking the test tubes filled with his blood inside a centrifuge, "Go home." she muttered with no venom, the tiredness seeping through her mask as she climbed up the stairs to the living area to brew tea.

Conan sighed as the door shut, hauling himself up as his mind thought of ways to cheer the scientist up.

_-dsf-_

"Are you happy?" Once more the question was asked by the same mouth to the same person.

And once more Haibara Ai scowled as she trudged along with the Shounen Tantei-dan on yet another small adventure to the park. They walked in pairs(except Genta for he said he wanted to lead); Ayumi and Mitsuhiko laughing and singing with Genta, and the two not-children hanging back with small smiles as they gazed at their younger companions, "Ask that one more time and I might just slam your head to the ground." she said after a while, walking up to Ayumi and Mitsuhiko, leaving Conan lounging in the back of the group.

He laughed, the melancholy from a few fays ago gone as he watched Ai talk with a smile on her face.

_-dsf-_

"Are you happy?"

They were walking home from school, it was just the two of them and Conan had insisted at hanging out at the Professor's without the kids just so he can be himself for a few hours. Which seemed to be happening quite a lot recently.

Ai said nothing to the question, but Conan got a reaction from her.. a small twitching of her eye. Smiling, Conan repeated the question.

In quick motion, Ai dug her heel into Conan's foot, then grabbed a handful of his hair, dragging his head down and toppling him to the ground, "I told you I'd slam you to the ground." She harrumphed, holding a hand out to help him up.

Five minutes later found Conan nursing a throbbing cheek and a bruised toe.. Ai smiling with a slight bounce in her step as they neared the Professor's elliptical house.

_-dsf-_

"Are you happy?"

Books slammed down on the desk meant for first graders, startling the whole class of 1-B in the middle of a multiplication recital. Ai stood up, hands braced on her desk beside Conan's, as she glared at him.. Conan looked down at his paper, trying hard to ignore how her glare seemed to physically inflict some kind of pain through his body. He shivered, the silence in the room deafening as Ai sat back down, apologizing to a wide-eyed Kobayashi, "I'm going to kill you." she muttered under her breath.

Conan didn't doubt her for a second.

_-dsf-_

"...Are you happy?"

Silence greeted him. He chanced a look to his left where Ai stood, (they were at a crime scene) gazing at the bustling uniforms escorting a deranged murderer to a waiting squad car. She sighed, turning her teal-colored gaze to her partner, "I don't know what game you're playing by asking me that question over and over again, but let me tell you clearly," she spit out, leaning close to Conan's face, amusement flashing in her eyes as she heard Conan squawk, "I am not happy." she leaned back.

Conan blinked. He smiled, then this time leaned his face closer to her's, "Why not?"

Her eye twitched, and once more Conan found himself nursing a throbbing cheek while Ran fussed over him.

-dsf-

"Why not?"

"'Why not', what?" Ai asked, feigning ignorance as the Shounen Tantei-dan sang merrily in the backseat of Agasa-hakase's yellow beetle while she and Conan shared the front seat. They were heading to Hokkaido, the Professor having won tickets to a famous onsen there.

"Why aren't you happy?"

Once again, Conan saw her eye twitch and Agasa glanced at the two with a worried look.. but before any of them could say anything, Ayumi piped up from behind them, followed by indignant yells from Genta and Mitsuhiko, "Ai-chan's not happy with us?!" She cried, "Why not?"

Ai blanched, she hated lying to the children, "That's not true!" She squeaked, "Edogawa-kun''s just being stupid." She turned her gaze to a smirking Conan, giving him a glare that could've killed him right then, "As usual."

They weren't even out of Tokyo before the beetle broke down.

-dsf-

"So... Why not?"

Breathing in deeply, Ai managed to control her thinning patience around the idiot detective. She ignored him, flipping the page of the magazine she had her eyes set on and squirming in her seat on the sofa to find a comfortable position, Conan smiling at her from where he sat by the television. They were once again at the Professor's, Conan obnoxiously spending a lot more time than necessary around the stoic scientist.

"Why not?"

She ignored him, striking up a different conversation, "I finally made a new batch of your stupid antidote, same time span of twenty-four hours though." She mumbled, face blank but inside hoping that he'd finally drop the persistent topic of conversation, "Wanna try it out?" She smirked at him.

Conan blinked before grinning, "But why aren't you happy?"

She inhaled deeply once more, petite hands fisting as the pages of paper she was holding crumpled. An idea struck her.. She wasn't a scientist if improvising wasn't a factor to be considered. Closing her eyes, she sighed, "I am happy." She muttered, Conan's grin widened as he stood up, walking towards her. Opening her eyes and gazing into his deep blues, she mustered up all the emotion she could, and spoke in a trembling voice, "I am happy. But I can't be."

Conan frowned, repeating the question he's been asking for days, "Why not?"

At this, she snapped at him, "Do you think I can be happy without thinking of the Organization?!" She screamed, watching him take a step back and his eyes widen, "Being happy means being careless! Not having any control over what would happen! I can't risk that! I can't risk the safety paranoia has given us!" Tears slowly slid down her face, her teal eyes dilating, revealing pent up frustration and pouring it out in one outburst, "I can't be happy until I've made sure that not a single one of Them can continue to haunt me in my dreams!" She shouted, the Professor's heavy footsteps climbing up the stairs to see what was going on.

Conan, in his startled stupor, frowned, "...Haibara..?" He asked uncertainly.

Wiping at her eyes...

She smirked, "Just kidding." She chuckled, drinking in with satisfaction the dumbfounded look on her favorite detective, "Do you really think I'm happy right now?" She asked once his shock bleeded into another frown, "I can't ever be happy in this lifetime, Kudo-kun." She muttered turning away.

Conan gave a questioning glance to Agasa, to which he replied with a shrug, as they watched the smartass of a scientist sit back on the sofa and flatten the crinkles in her magazine..

Revealing the truth before slamming it down with a lie always worked on the oblivious detective, and Ai revelled in the release it gave her and the safety that the truth will always just remain in her heart..

Because no matter how happy she truly was, she couldn't let Conan one her up.

Especially in a game he planned to trap her in.

* * *

**I've been watching DB cases in DC and noticed how Ai seems to be a lot more happy than in the start of the series when she was introduced.. Also noted is the fact that she doesn't have that much of a poker face, sure she always has an impassive face on, but whenever its just Conan and the Shounen Tantei, she's pretty much opened up. Plus the fact that she was born into the BO, shouldn't she have some kind of skill in physical combat? Even basic skills? For example that slamming Conan down to the ground.. Wouldn't that be easy for her? Just a thought.**

**The relationship between Conan and Ai has always been a nice one, cute and sweet and blunt. Not in a romantic way, but more of a bickering-inseparable-best-friends kinda way. And unlike Heiji and Conan's best friend tendecies, Conan and Ai have some kind of unspoken agreement that they're partners and have each others' back no matter what.**

**This prompt was introduced by my ever annoying self asking 'Are you happy?' to everyone around me and getting annoyed results. LOL.**

**Meh. Enough rambling. Hoped you enjoyed this out of season one shot.**

**Reviews are always appreciated! :)**


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